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Mark Twain Quotes


An American humorist, novelist, writer, and lecturer. His real name is Samuel Langhorne Clemens but he is better known by his pen name Mark Twain.
(1835 - 1910)

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"Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life," but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
[Fortune]
 

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
 

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
 

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
 

A home without a cat may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove its title?
[Cats]
 

A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
 

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
[Self Acceptance]
 

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
 

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
[Experience]
 

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
 

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
 

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
 

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
 

Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.
[Action]
 

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
[Affliction]
 

Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him.
 

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
[Funny]
 

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
[Against]
 

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
[Age]
 

All generalizations are false, including this one.
 


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